Cory's death was the beginning of a long needed overhaul on my general character. I hate to admit much, but I have a confession. I am a human being. I'm weak sometimes. I've made many many many mistakes. I've pissed off lots of people. I've lived. I have a lot of good people in my life though too.
I've got another confession. I loved my brother. I was severely attached at the hip to him for a long time. In many cases and for many years, Audrey, Cory and I only had each other. But my loyalty to him started to dwindle sometime between a bunch of bullshit and some more bullshit in our lives. We began having a rough time understanding each other. I was somewhat of a rebel that has always questioned everything. And he loved questioning my questioning. We butted heads a lot.
In my teens, I wondered why. I began questioning a lot of what made my family tick and soon discovered who we are. I found that my core ideals and values are very different from most of my family's. But we still love each other the same. We are loyal to each other and I think it's safe to say my parents, aunts and uncles are some of the best teachers I've ever had on the subject of passionate living in life, regardless of a differential in everyone's ideas. Me, my brother, my sister and all of our cousins are blessed to have had such great role models, who have been through hell and back and only wished happier lives upon my generation. They have sacrificed a lot to pass on these traits. Without them all, Cory would be a very different person. Audrey, the same. I would be too.
Cory was very particular in his interests and had a significant amount of the passion genes passed on in his blood. You could never tell him how to do something, you could only ask him to figure it out on his own, and he would in no time. He was a quick learner and you never had to worry about him falling behind. He knew how to evolve or press the gas pedal. He knew how to get the job done and get it done well. Unfortunately, his body's energy evaporated over a seemingly slow and "painful to witness" process. Everyone in our family had lives of our own and had grown apart. It wasn't easy to see. Eventually he had nothing left to give, his conditions worsened and soon his passions were lost.
I know his death affected everyone in quite a similar way to how it affected me. We all saw his life being so much different than how it ended up. His wife and kids are incredible and they deserve so much credit for being so good to him. I know it was hard. But Trisha, Ryker and Jenna were my brothers pride and joy. He loved them. His immediate family was the only thing he had at some points, especially near the end. But he didn't ever want to end up bed-ridden. He had too much passion, just like all our cousins, aunts, uncles, parents and grandparents.
Cory, as stubborn as he might have been, was always a loyal and dependable person. He was annoyingly opinionated. Super offensive. But also very honest about his feelings, at least he was at one time with me. So if I have one thing to thank him for, it would have to be his teachings of how to live passionately. We can all agree his body's biography is severely tragic though. Everyone in our family saw his potential, because we all feel the same potential in ourselves to be who we want to be.
Cory never gave up. Cory lived passionately. Cory worked hard.
-I don't give up.
-My passion gets me in all sorts of trouble.
-I've come a long way since my lazy youth, I work very hard.
Cory can be regarded as a great teacher of these core values. Love you brother.
