Beta-Testing Begins On "The New Me"

After regular meditation for the past two years, a hefty amount of baggage I have been lying or doing to myself was uncovered. Many issues from my childhood, my stubborn early 20s and the years of my marriage were topics I have lied to myself in my head about over the years. I needed to confront these issues and start fresh with life. I recently came to the conclusion that in order to make a stable and healthy future, the smartest thing I could do was remember my past as accurate as I could and deal with why I am who I am today.

The most important epiphany I came to through all of this is that if I truly want to be in a relationship again with someone I can trust, someone who is passionate about living and can handle themselves healthily and with careful action in times of anger, frustration, sadness, confusion and even happiness, I must relearn to trust myself. That means respecting my body and mind, being 100% honest with myself and being a good person to other people. It means routinely watching my diet and exercising, drinking occasionally rather than regularly, quitting cigarettes and making sure to challenge myself to meet goals of all kinds.

Life is not about contentment, nor happiness as it is typically defined in Hollywood. Life is about anger, pain, love, sorrow, happiness and every other emotion I'm too lazy to list. Life is about living.

Taking the time to prepare and think about what I want in my future is a road worth going down, but it's a long road, full of both self-improvement and even more mistakes to make along the way. The time has come to rebrand myself, to think of how I should market "Me" for the people I attract romantically, emotionally and professionally.

I want to be worth the investment for the next person who purchases me as their next vehicle of choice and drives me off the used car lot. Ha!