Things That Are Out Of My Control.

I've been divorced officially since July of last year. I can't remember the exact date and truthfully, it doesn't matter. I've been uncommitted from that relationship since December of 2009. She's my son's mother. I respect her because of that. I will rarely say anything bad about her to even my closest of friends. I want her to know that I wish her the best in life. I also want her to know that I'm committed to being the best father, for the rest of my life, to our adorable and perfect son, Simon! I'm thankful to have learned about myself from my experience in marriage. Thus, I am thankful for her. She was a large part of my life. She is a great mother to our punko. I am a damn good father to him too!

Really, I couldn't ask for a better son. He's just the best. Period! The reason I chose to move back to Logan is solely because I chose to be a part of his life. His mother moved back to Northern Utah with him when we decided it was time to divorce. Had I stayed living in Las Vegas, I fear I would be living a miserable life knowing my son is just 8 hours away, yet I rarely get to see him. Luckily, I think I've really proved to myself that I can be a responsible Daddy. I sacrifice spending more time with friends, networking for business, concert-going, road-trips, vacations, major clientele in Las Vegas for my career that Utah doesn't offer (i.e. major television shows, sports broadcasts, Los Angeles tag-along jobs, more experience with celebrity talent and major producers, etc.) I still get to work those jobs from time to time if my scheduling permits, but they are fewer and much farther between these days. But perhaps the most important thing I sacrifice these days is my patience.

I dedicate so much time for patience with other things. Patience for Simon, patience for the right woman, patience for my career to take off, patience for money, patience for a home... the list goes on. I've been so caught up with life that I've really sacrificed patience for myself lately. I find myself caught up in impressing a laundry list of other things, some materialistic and some not. But my patience on myself has been increasingly thin. It's forced me into all sorts of emotions lately that have made me selfish, self-interested and bizarrely anti-social. If you know me, I'm not an anti-social person typically. I want to be so many things I'm not. I want to be more social. I want to be more successful. I want to be more attractive. I want to be smarter. I want to be a respected achiever. I want so many things.

So sometimes I wish I had full control of where I'm going. But there are so many things that are out of my control in my future. Just gotta accept that and strive to be the best.